All the men out there take note: the next time you think a woman isn't good as good at something as you are (you're an ass for thinking that BTW), remember this glaring fact...A WOMAN GREW YOUR PENIS INSIDE HER. Yup, you have chicks to thank for that. Your dad may have provided the Y chromosome to make up your gender, but your mom grew your bits perfectly inside her womb.
Anyways...I'm off topic here...the wonders of biology seldom bore me.
My little guys...they're the best. I really do think that. Although, I sometimes feel that I'm lacking in the maternal department. I'm not the most patient person (I don't think I am- they are helping with that), I'm not super touchy feely either. Nor do I feel like a typical mother. Now, I'm not talking June Cleaver or Carol Brady...I'm talking about these women we all compare ourselves too...you know, the ones that actually do the stuff that makes it into the blog or magazine that you clip to your Pinterest board. The modern day super mom.
I'm not one for making comparisons, but these ones are crazy hard to avoid. We all want to be the best. We all want to find that balance between crafty, fun, pretty, culinarily wonderful, sexy, glossy haired, perfectly coifed in all the right places mom...but it just isn't meant to be. It's not possible...we're all different and we all have different personality types.
Now, on to my point...quality time.
I spent the greater part of this week working, cleaning up vomit, and snuggling my sick kids. All the while, fending off the death virus that happened to only affect my intestines (I guess that's a win:/)
I'm not a housewife, homemaker, SAHM, WAHM, or whatever the various titles there are floating around out there.
I work out of the home. I'm also a bit of a headcase and totally have my work cut out for me. My life has gotten too busy, even for me to mentally handle. My veneer is cracking and crumbling away. I kinda feel like what's his bucket in American Psycho, except I'm not envisioning myself killing anyone...I'm horrible at housekeeping, can barely cook, can't sew, and when I look at my son's Mine Craft game, all I see are square blobs.
In the midst of all my running around, trying to do something to make anything seem even somewhat organized...the only real quality time I feel I have with my awesome kids, is when I'm putting them to bed.
We're a co-sleeping family. Well, we were. Now, the boys have bunk beds- when they sleep in them.
I still lie down with them to get them to settle. My oldest needs it more- he's not super tactile, but bedtime is when he needs his closeness.
So, I put the crackling fire place on Songza, and I lay down in the tiny beds, with the cartoon bed sheets, I drive my kids nuts by singing or being silly...then I sit here waiting for them to fall asleep.
Once they're asleep, I sit here some more; just listening to the sound of their breathing beside me. Spending a moment just being here with them. They way they need it most.
